I have written of life's triggers that often cause us to take steps back before stepping forward again. Sometimes there is not an individual thing or person that presses that button, but a horrific, tragic event. This is the primary trigger for me. For each time there is a senseless tragic mass murder, it kicks up the dust of my loss on 9/11/01, a dust I thought had settled. Whether terrorism, bombings, shootings, stabbings ~ the fact that innocent lives are heartlessly taken by deranged mad men is a trigger for most people.
The scar on my heart rips open by the deaths of our most helpless little children and their guardian angel teachers and I am struck by the aching knowledge that these families will have to endure a most long and painful journey through grief.
Where do you put all of these raw emotions? Processing what has happened and the multitude of whys is the hardest, sharing in the grief of the families, wanting to help in some small way and the added emotion of watching the suffering of the families while they bury their loved ones as it's televised.
I have cried renewed tears of grief, I have been to church, almost daily, to pray and light candles. The peaceful solitude in my church provides a place to empty my heart of the raw emotion that lives there. Most importantly, speaking with my therapist and Priest allows me the ability to safely speak about the emotions I am feeling.
Every person processes and deals with grief in their own way and I hope you will take whatever steps you deem appropriate to deal with the emotional fall out of the tragic murders of the children and teachers from Sandy Hook Elementary school in Newton, Ct.
Wishing you all a Blessed Christmas and Peace and Health for the New Year.
Until next time, the clouds will clear and you will find your way.
~Paula
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