Spring Cleaning

So, who thought that I would ever be confronted with going through my beloveds possessions?  I certainly never imagined being faced with such a daunting task.  


Although my brain was aware that sorting through Bob's clothing and personal effects was an important step in my grieving process, my heart was unable to face it because of the painful emotions I knew it would bring up.  I had to set my own timetable to accomplish this ~ I had to be ready.  This would be my choice and not something I'd feel pressured into by family and friends.  That said, it was almost two years before I was able to even think about this emotional task.  


Deciding what to keep and what to give away can be a cathartic experience.  It can also be a step into a new stage of grief.  But it does not mean you are growing away from your loved one!  They are always in your heart and soul~and what you like and is the most comforting and meaningful, like a sweater or favorite shirt,~can hang in your closet forever as far as I'm concerned!  Bob's bathrobe and slippers continue to remain in my closet.


Some people will want to save more than others.  You may want to keep only the most special and meaningful items of clothing and personal effects.  While others may want to pack everything away in the basement.  I decided the best way to start was to set realistic goals for myself and I spread the task out over several weekends.  Once you've decided what you want to keep, ask family and close friends what they'd like to keep.  Once I completed this incredibly difficult job, I gave some items to firehouse friends and donated items to the Veterans.  The possessions I kept went into a box for the eventual crafting of a quilt.


When going through your loved one's clothing and personal effects, it helps to have people around you to share memories.  You may also need a shoulder to cry on.  I needed to go it alone to cry, laugh, and cherish my memories of Bob.  Do keep in mind that this is a difficult process and you might need some help getting through it.


Cleaning out your loved one's closets and drawers can be an opportunity to celebrate his life and feel connected to him.


Some ideas to help you ~


*There is no right or wrong time to begin~you set the timetable~don't begin until you are ready.


*Take it slow. Do a  closet and a drawer a day or spread the job out over a  couple of weekends.


*Your atmosphere is important~play some favorite music, light a candle, and invite a close family member or friend to participate.


*Keepsakes for your children ~ allow them to choose or set aside keepsakes for them.


*Sew a quilt out of the meaningful items of his/her clothing. If you are not a crafter, ask someone for help ~ or find out where you can have it made for you.


*Giving to those in need feels good~donate clothing to a worthy cause.




Until next time~ the clouds will clear and you will find your way!


~Paula