Perhaps it's happened to you. Some of us, who've lost someone, experience at one time or another the feeling that our loved one has "visited" us. It may be a dream in which the person says goodbye, offers comfort or says "I love you."
You may also have felt your loved one in ways that are harder to explain: lights that flash in your home; the sounds of walking on the stairs or the closing of a door; certain aromas, there one minute and gone the next, that you associate with your loved one. Feeling the presence of a lost loved one is quite common and can be healing.
The months after someone close to you has died is a confusing time filled with questions there are no earthly answers for. Not really being caught up in the spirit world before, I found myself drawn to it for answers to things that can't be explained and a way to communicate with my deceased husband.
People who are religious~and even those who are not~often take comfort in their Faith, as I did. While others may consult psychics to connect with their loved one, also as I did. Although contact with the deceased is a hotly debated subject, the healing aspects of a continued connection cannot be ignored.
My first "contact" experience was shared with open-minded friends and family. The exchange of thoughts and memories were very soothing and helped to dispel some of the isolating pain of my grief. I've never shared my experiences with anyone else or publicly as I felt they were too precious to share. There was also my fear that others may think I was crazy.
So now, without hesitation or fear, I will share my most vivid experience with you.
Bob died tragically on September 11, 2001 and his Memorial Service was held on October 17, 2001. Several days later, I had what I can only explain as a 'visitation'.
I woke up one morning remembering, in detail, a most vivid dream. Prior to 9/11, I had always had difficulty remembering details of dreams. That morning, I woke up feeling warm and comforted and the details of the dream were very clear. The more I reviewed the details, the more I was convinced it was not a dream.
The Visit
Bob came to me~his skin glowed, no wrinkles on his face, his hair was white, softly curled shoulder length hair. His eyes,that were always deep blue in life, was such a bright and deep color of blue that can only be likened to the ocean.
He wore a deep navy tee shirt, the same color as he'd wear at the firehouse. He spoke to my mind, no lips moving, and I spoke to him in the same way. Softly stroking his arms, we had our conversation.
Bob told me ~ "I'm okay, we are all very busy here." I could see shadows of many people behind him and what sounded to me like party noise. I said to him, "oh great, you are all having a beer party and I'm suffering here without you." He smiled and said, "we are busy watching out for those we love and keeping an eye on our 'Brothers'. I am always close to you and the kids, and Paula, you are going to be okay and find your way. I have the love and prayers you send to me, and enjoy the songs you sing to me." I told him, that I love him and thanked him for coming to me. He said, " I came to you because you needed me." Then I woke up.
Write about your dreams or visitations you've had, things you'd like to tell your loved one today, and your feelings about God and/or spirituality. In the end it's the emotions these experiences conjure up that are important. I'm still not sure what I believe, so I simply let it bring me comfort thinking that my wonderful husband is watching over me.
Dr. Melvin Morse, a pediatrician who's studied people who have come close to dying, affirms the healing power of this approach: "Over the years, I have found that the seeds of healing grief are often overlooked, trivialized, or dismissed. Things happen to us all that seem too ordinary to be important, or too fantastic to be real."
Until the next time, the clouds will clear and you will find your way.
~Paula
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