Yes, it's that time of year again! We will see the signs everywhere ~ card stores full of heart-shaped cards, special red and pink flowers, restaurants offering romantic dinners. Even if you'd like to make February 14 just another day, it's nearly impossible to completely block it out. And even though it sometimes feels like just a bunch of hype, Valentine's Day can bring up bittersweet memories of the ways you and your loved one used to celebrate the day. It can also stir up the emotion of just how lonely you feel. The day may be rife with feelings of longing and pain with a raw reminder of just how much your life has changed.
There are many meaningful ways to connect with your loved one. No matter what, he or she will stay a vital part of your life. Instead of feeling excluded by traditional Valentine's Day celebrations, be your own valentine by making it another occasion for honoring your loved one. Don't forget to give yourself the gift of self-compassion. That means love, understanding and acknowledgement of how you've perservered and grown since your loss. Give some of the love in your heart to those who've been there for you during your difficult times.
Some ideas that may help you feel better ~
* Your loved one is still a vital part of your life, even as you move forward. Write him or her a note, a poem or make a special valentine.
* Treat yourself to something frivolous and fun. Go shopping, get a massage, go to a spa with friends, go to an exercise or yoga class, make a lunch date with a friend.
* Send valentines to those who've stood by you through thick and thin. If there is someone new in your life, send them a valentine, too. And don't feel quilty about it ~ it doesn't mean you are grieving any less.
You may find yourself embarking on a new relationship. Embracing the future without your loved one is a very real challenge, and moving farther away from the life you shared may feel like painful letting go. It is then important to remember that moving forward doesn't mean that you are leaving anyone behind.
As you work toward rebuilding your life, you will learn a great deal about yourself, your resilience, and your strength.
Be Your Valentine!
Until next time, the clouds will clear and you will find your way!
~Paula
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