Your grief has a cycle of seasons ~ its own distinct autumn, winter, spring and summer ~ that bring with it recollections of your loved one. Throughout the year, you commemorate holidays, birthdays, anniversaries and other personal milestones. These days and so many other events evoke bittersweet memories, as well as dark feelings of loss and lonliness.
For me, every day in the cycle of seasons is a day of remembrance since September 11, 2001. Even as life moves me forward, and new things happen, I take my memories with me and incorporate them into my daily life. The most ordinary things remind me of times Bob and I spent together.
As the anniversary of the loss of your loved one approaches, you may feel intensification of your grief. This is a normal reaction to the grieving process. Sometimes you can be feeling more pain than you have in a long time because your protective shell of numbness has all but disappeared and life is moving you forward. You have gone from merely surviving to living, and this can be painful.
As you anticipate a difficult anniversary, tune in to how you feel and plan accordingly. In preparation for what may be a difficult day, nurture you body, mind and spirit. Try to meditate, take an exercise class, get a relaxing massage or facial, go to your house of worhsip or take a quiet reflective walk in nature. Express your feelings to a trusted friend, family member or counselor ~ it just might make you feel better.
Always take stock of how far you've come in your journey. Remember that moving forward is not moving away from your loved one. It means that you are learning how to navigate your life through the many seasons of your grief. And in doing so, you are honoring your loved one and yourself in a very healthy way.
Until next time ~ the clouds will clear and you will find your way!
Happy New Year and God Bless You
~Paula
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