The Heart Has No Calendar

There are no rules on how to grieve and there is no timetable. The heart has no calendar.

Grieving the loss of a loved one is the same for everyone.  Whether from a sudden or long illness or an unexpected tragedy.  Grief is grief!

How are you doing?  That is the most asked question you will hear.  Well-intentioned people who care about you want to know how you are coping.  In the early days, months and years of my grief, I learned that sugar-coating the truth about "how I was doing" was not in my best interest.  Honesty is still the best policy.  So I simply responded with ~ "coping is a day to day process for me"; "it's hard to answer that question today"; "I'm doing lousy"; "I don't want to talk about it";  or as time went by "today is okay."

Stay connected to the people in your life that you feel safe with and talk about how you are feeling with those people.  Join a grief counseling group that deals with your particular loss.  Talk with a friend who has been through the grief process for they know exactly what you are going through and can offer you hope for the future.

So, be kind to yourself and remember that when it comes to talking about these deeply painful times there are no right or wrong answers.

Until next ~ the clouds will clear and you find your way,
Paula